Blue Skies, Broken Hearts

Today has been a challenge for me.

I've been learning how to be nice and have compassion for that negative voice inside of me -- you know that one that criticizes everyone and everything and beats you up for simply trying to live?

Instead of letting my irritation build for the past 12 hrs, I decided to practice the art of awareness and the discipline of letting go.

There is a great simple meditation that I like to use where you imagine a clear blue sky and as you become aware of your thoughts, you visualize them as clouds moving through your field of vision. You acknowledge their existence but the thoughts are no longer negative or positive. They are simply clouds, floating on about their day.

Our minds can be our biggest foe or our greatest ally. This past summer, a teacher of mine lent me a book by Sakyong Mipham called Turning The Mind Into An Ally. It went into depth about how the mind is a wild horse that needs to be tamed.

Mine was wild today and I was thrown off constantly. What made a difference though was that I kept getting back on it.

Instead of feeding the criticism and getting mad at myself for even having those types of thoughts, I simply said to myself, "Jillian, you know that voice is not yours but don't beat yourself up about it. Let it say it's piece but don't buy into it. Now, let's move on."

Having patience with yourself is vital to a healthy mind.

I managed to sort through my knitting basket, watch a movie and a half and write a blog post.